Anxiety x Stress

My aura drags in a dark, muggy cloud as I walk into my apartment. I head straight to my room without uttering a single hello to my boyfriend. It’s not his fault I feel like this. I can tell him about how my day went but really it’s the same shit, different day and we both know it. I sit in silence trying to rid myself of the toxic filth that’s polluted my essence, but damn it’s hard. 

When Anxiety meets Stress and they have a baby, better believe it’s going to be a bitch. Stress brings all her bullshit to Anxiety. She knows that he will put her on a pedestal and make her troubles a priority. Anxiety is a body full. He’s more than hands can handle. He finds my stomach, makes a playground out of it, and wreaks havoc. I can feel him twist my guts up and challenge Stress to a game of Double Dutch to the point I feel nauseous.

Once they’re bored with that, they put on their heaviest Timberlands and form a step team on my brain. Tylenol has been doing reps but even with its extra strength, it can’t keep the constant pounding under wraps. The destructive duo finds their way to the Control Station where all my thoughts are made and go crazy on the keyboard. Now I have a million things on my mind but I’m so overwhelmed, I do nothing. 

I put my AirPods in, listen to my Kehlani playlist, roll up a king-sized joint and indulge in my favorite snacks. This puts Anxiety and Stress down for their nap, but it doesn’t fix the chaos they created. It’s a temporary escape to make me feel better for a couple hours and that’s it. It doesn’t fix anything. They’ll wake up and run it all back like they never left. But what they don’t know is that just like them, I don’t give up. If I’m in a rut I won’t stay there for long.